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Originally posted this on Deviantart. Now I am reposting it here under Steamed Hams But It's a Harvey Street Kids episode.


HSK Steamed Hams Title Card















(Bobby the Elder comes to the Harvey girls' HQ as he knocks on the door. Dot then opens the door to greet Bobby)

Bobby: Well, Dot, I made it- despite your directions.

Dot: Ah. Bobby the Elder. Welcome. - I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.

Bobby: Yeah.

(Bobby sits at the table while Dot goes into the mini kitchen, only to see that the oven is steaming. She gasps and runs to the oven and sees that the ham she was cooking is burning on fire)

Dot: Oh no! My roast is ruined. (Dot then sees a Wimpy Bar restaurant out through the window) But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? (Dot gets an idea) Delightfully devilish, Dot.

(Dot heads to the window, only for her to stop when Bobby came in and saw that she is about to go out through the window)

Dot and the Elder














Singers: "Dot with her crazy explanations, Bobby the Elder's gonna need his medication, when he hears Dot's lame exaggerations There'll be trouble on this street tonight!"


Bobby: DOT!

Dot: Bobby, I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?

Bobby: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Dot?

Dot: Uh- Oh. That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm. Steamed clams.

(Bobby leaves then Dot is relieved that Bobby is gone then she finally goes out through the window and heads off to the Wimpy Bar. Then she comes back as she comes with the hamburgers and sets them on the table)

Dot: Bobby, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers.

Bobby: I thought we were having steamed clams.

Dot: Actually no. I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.

Bobby: You call hamburgers steamed hams?

Dot: Yes. It's a regional dialect.

Bobby: Uh-huh. Uh, what region?

Dot: Uh, upstate New York.

Bobby: Really. Well, I visited Utica before, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams."

Dot: Oh, not in Utica. No. It's an Albany expression.

Bobby: I see. 

(Bobby takes a hamburger and takes a bite out of it)

Bobby: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at the Wimpy Bar.

Dot: Oh, no. Patented dot burgers. A simple recipe with a dash of dots.

Bobby: For steamed hams.

Dot: Yes.

Bobby: Yes. And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.

Dot: Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- - Excuse me for one second.

Bobby: Of course.

(Dot comes to check the oven and comes out where it is shown behind the curtain that the oven has setted up a fire)

Dot: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.

Bobby: Yes. I should be- Good Lord! What is happening in there?

Dot: Aurora Harvealis.

Bobby: Uh- Aurora Harvealis at this time of year at this time of day in all of Harvey Street localized entirely within your kitchen!?

Dot: Yes.

Bobby: May I see it?

Dot: No.

(Dot and Bobby walk out of the HQ)

Lotta: (off screen) Dot! The HQ is on fire!

Dot: No, Lotta. It's just the northern lights.

Bobby: Well, Dot, you are an odd gal but I must say you steam a good ham.

(Bobby walks away to get back to his home with the fire still burning the HQ)

Lotta: (off screen) HELP! Help!

(Bobby turns around but to see Dot lifting her thumb up that everything is ok. Then Bobby continues to walk ahead. Later Audrey comes in but sees that the HQ is on fire)

Audrey: Woah! What happened!?

(Lotta sticks out through the window with burnt marks on her skin)

Lotta: Dot set the HQ on fire.

Dot: Well I wanted to get a good check from Bobby the Elder on my cooking!

Audrey: Ugh. I can't leave my two friends there.

(Audrey gets out a hose and sprays out water from the hose on the fire which puts the fire out on the HQ)

Lotta: Oh thanks for putting the fire out Audrey!

Audrey: Not a big deal.

Dot: Now would either of you two care for some steamed hams?

Lotta: Uh?

Audrey: Wait what!?

(Audrey then just blankly stares)

The End